Conquest of the Irrational
So, I’m flying back to the Motherland for the weekend.
The only problem is that I’ve developed a flying phobia. On take-off and landing my palms start sweating, my heart palpitates, my pupils are like saucers. I know it’s mental, but I can’t help myself. That, afterall, is what a phobia is.
After a furious web-search to try and cure myself I ended up none the wiser. BUT, I did find a whole selection of weird and wonderful phobias of other people.
I guess it can always be worse…
“Fear of people reading your mind” – shudder – can you imagine!! I’d be in jail by now.
“Fear of gravity reversing itself” – It would be cool, as long as you were inside at the time. It would be like the video to Lionel Rich-Tea’s “Dancing on the Ceiling”. And that can’t be a bad thing!
“Fear that everyone is the world is an actor and you’re the only one not in on the joke” – The only cure for this one is to wear a tin-foil hat, like any normal person.
“Fear of a Black Planet” - 911 is a joke- yo!
“Fear of spontaneous human combustion” – It can happen, allegedly. According to the men in tin-foil hats.
“Penis-Panic” – This one is too weird! It’s a well-documented mass phobia/hysteria where all the men think their penis is shrinking/melting into their bodies. I recommend studying the wikipedia link- just don’t catch the fear.
Thanks to Ben for putting me onto some of these fears and also for potentially providing the solution to all our problems. The people at “Probable Future” seem to have the cure to all our phobias – “You will soon be walking around in a permanent state of increased bilateral Theta or Delta brain waves alike a Zen or Yoga Master, in fearless joy because you will have mastered the superpowers of the Mind and be consciously creating-as-you-go your reality !”
PS. But seriously, if anyone has any hints on how to cure myself of my flying panics please let me know.